“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserves your love and affection” - Buddha
Although it appears that most of
us in today’s world are self centered….. We are actually not. We are not as
selfish as we think we are and are made out to be. And how do we know this?
Because most of us do not pay any attention to our own core needs..our soul needs.
Most of us actually believe that loving oneself is the epitome of being
selfish. Imagine a friend saying…. You know what, I’m going to love myself from
now on. And you would think in your mind that this person surely has some serious
issues going on or maybe just a passing phase of low self-esteem! I mean..what
kind of person would say.. I’m going to love myself?! Right? J
And why do we believe this?
Because our definition of loving ourselves is very limited. To me.. truly loving
yourself doesn’t mean…..going on a shopping spree, fighting for the remote to
watch your favourite channel, making your own favourite dinner rather than someone
else’s in the family, etc. Nothing wrong with all this but soon we would
realise that these are very shallow and limited ways of loving yourself and that’s
why they don’t seem worth it after a point and we don’t bother about them. Fighting
for petty things fails to empower us. Unless we get to the core of ourselves..
we remain unfulfilled.
But loving yourself, to me means digging
much more deeper. Firstly it is accepting that you are a soul on your own
journey… yes, totally interconnected with others.. yet having its own path. Being
more gentle with yourself. Taking time out and listening to the little voice
inside you. How does it like to express itself? How does it like spending the
days of its lives? What kind of people does it like to be around? Acknowledging
that your soul has its needs and desires. Whatever the answers are, its
important to acknowledge them…. how we choose to react to these things and act
on them in a balanced manner is another thing. We are already feeling a bit
selfish aren’t we? But soon we realise that unless we are genuinely happy we
can’t make anyone happy around us. If we don’t have love for us we can’t offer
it to anyone else. And the more we ignore ourselves, the more blockages we
create inside us leading to the state of “dis-ease”. We all know this.. but
somehow it all goes under the carpet in everyday life and we spend obscene amount
of time cribbing about everything else…everyone else. How happy would the world
be..if we were focused on improving our own selves.. our soul needs..our own self
esteem would automatically increase and we would experience true happiness and
share that with everyone around.. simply by our loving presence...
"A loving person lives in a loving world, A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror" - Ken Keyes
They say a true and genuine creative
artist in whichever arena, can never find fault in any other’s creative work as
he realises that everything is subjective and a unique expression of that particular
soul. Thus if we truly focus on working on ourselves.. we will realise that
everyone else is work in progress too and feel more love and compassion for
them.
And to me, it begins with honouring
your own uniqueness. I remember being asked once…. What was it that I was
passionate about? And I remember thinking..Is it cooking? baking? Is it reading
books on personal and spiritual growth? Is it music? Is it spending time with
my loved ones? Is it learning new things? Pursuing genuine happiness? Swimming?
I couldn’t pick one..I loved all of it!! (by the way writing was nowhere in the
radar then!!) What was it then? And then something inside me answered “Life”. I
am passionate about Life…and everything that it has to offer. And I remember beaming
with the answer and feeling so liberated after saying that. The opposite person
suddenly ceased to exist.. It didn’t matter to me what they thought of it. It
was my truth and it gave me self-power. It is a unique answer..but that’s how
my soul expresses itself. And I realised that the first step in loving yourself
starts with acknowledging and honouring that small little voice which is truly
wise and keeps guiding us towards true and lasting happiness….
Do yourself a favour today and start
truly loving yourself…..you will know the difference between pursuit of vanity
and pursuit of fulfilment.. between being selfish and honouring your true self...between being self-absorbed, narcissistic and being your own true friend deserving your own unconditional love...
