Your Personal Relationship with the Universe

 

“There are two ways to live : you can live as if nothing is a miracle ; you can live as if everything is a miracle” – Albert Einstein

As we tread ahead along our spiritual path, the thing we hear the most from everyone is that, I will believe in all this only when I have an experience myself. And that’s perfect and exactly how it should be....I myself have a certain belief system only after having my own really dramatic experiences and honestly after being bombarded persistently left, right and centre by them. As if this is my destiny and I cannot run away from it. Till then I was a skeptic or a so-called “realist” myself. Whoever tells anyone to believe in anything blindly, has no idea what it’s all about!

But what is that big experience that we keep waiting for?? I mean, is God going to come in our dreams or are we going to have some out of body experience or some astral travel. I doubt if that ever happens for majority of us.  I mean….seems like God only talks to Neale Donald Walsch.. :) Right?? :) But hey!! The Universe has finally decided to converse with Shilpa Deshmukh ;) or has Shilpa finally started paying attention to it now, is the right question?? :)

But what does happen for many of us is that we keep experiencing signs or meaningful co-incidences or synchronicities or little messages in the form of intuitions. Some people call this accessing the storehouse of your subconscious mind, some people call it a little help from your spirit guides, some call it the intentional manifestation of the universal energy, choose whatever resonates with you.  They help us make decisions in case of dilemmas or just to remind us of our connection to the Source. And they come to us in many forms…through books, songs, movies, hoardings, somebody circulating some message on exactly what you were looking for, a gut feeling, a dream, a kind act from a stranger on a bad day and many such ways…. Many times there is something bothering us and we come across a book or an exact chapter on the same concept and that helps us reach a mental resolution. Many times it comes as a flow while writing something and you later wonder where the hell did these words come from?  Many times you see a hoarding right on your face..in big bold black and white..exact words staring right back at you..that you needed to hear. The examples are innumerable and its only between you and the Universe…Earlier I would get totally spooked out but now I feel like smiling when I find them as I finally understand that they are meant to keep me on the path.…helps me connect with the Universe and it keeps me grounded.

“Synchronicity is the coming together of inner and outer events in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect and that is meaningful to the observer” – Carl Jung.

They could be as simple as a message reassuring us in a time of doubt. At the risk of appearing naïve..let me share a very simple co-incidence  that I experienced when I was choosing the name for my son. I remember, I had already decided during my pregnancy that my child’s name had to be from “S” and if it was a boy, then the name would be Samar. If you look up on the net, the literal meaning of the name is War.. which can have a bit of negative connotations.. but the more I went inside myself.. only one meaning kept coming to me, which was… A Warrior.. A Warrior of Peace and Light. That’s what my inner voice kept telling me. A few days later we went to Crosswords and I glanced upon this Paulo Coelho’s book called the “Manual of The Warrior of Light” which I had never seen before, so I immediately picked it up for casual browsing and for some reason on every single left hand side page there is a “S” written up and down on the pages with a quote on Warrior of Light in the middle. What that “S” is doing in that book on every single left page and what it means to Paulo… only he knows. I found it amusing and funnily felt very reassured but kept the book back on the shelf. And so when the baby came out we named him Samar and we told to whoever asked that it means…. A warrior of peace and light. ..because that’s what my inner voice had told me. And now I see my 4 year old son and how delightful he is and only now I read many spiritual concepts on the new age children and how they are meant to have warrior spirits and are meant to be Warriors of light and peace and love…. I got totally spooked out! How exact can it get?? Where did that phrase come from to me during my pregnancy? But now I see the whole connection between this amazing soul and why he would have chosen me to be his mommy…and it is truly fascinating and extremely profound. Someday it all falls in place for us and makes us smile…that’s all…no pressures…just smile….it’s enough to get you by the day….
Before you start judging me and my expectations of him, :) let me add a disclaimer over here that Warrior of Light is just a way of being and in no manner suggests the path or any field that he may choose....that part is entirely up to him and his eternal journey.... :)

 

“I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path”

– Dalai Lama

 But most of us choose to ignore these simple things around us because at that time they don’t seem very dramatic enough or we feel a bit stupid about it. People from the creative world still pay atleast a little attention to these signs. But if you come from an orbit where most of your peers and friend circle are from management studies or a corporate background then you have chosen a tough audience for yourself!! :) I mean its really far easy to get a hundred likes for a piece of cake but to have chosen a task to present such thought provoking articles to especially such an audience is not easy by any means.  :) We lot are a bit of a lone warriors ourselves and we would rather fight it out alone than receive some divine help!! ;) So burnt out in these heavy karmic places that we seem to have lost all our connection to innocence and any sort of higher Source. No wonder then that only rude wake up calls work for most of us!! Atleast that’s what made me notice and look back on all the “small” things….

After I started writing and sharing my thoughts on this blog, the amount of such experiences that people have been sharing is not funny. It’s almost as if we all are closeted spiritualists and are somehow keeping it inside us. Most of us are looking for our own connection to the Universe or a connection to something higher than ourselves. It’s a nagging feeling which most of us have about where do we actually fit in the greater scheme of things? Is there any meaning to this whole drill or just a random occurrence of chance events? But it seems like we would have to discover that on our own and establish that connection on our own as it is our personal journey which began really eons ago and probably now we are at a stage where we feel the need to figure it all out. Despite having everything to be grateful about we feel totally lost at times.  And that’s where these little signs help us with little pointers on the journey, provided we pay attention to them and have faith in them.

What I have realised is that they are not for just a chosen few but are for everyone and are there to help us and guide on this wonderful journey. Start paying attention to the world around you and you will notice them everywhere..you will start seeing the magic in things… journal them….they may not make sense to you at all right now.. ..but they are your little jigsaw pieces which one day will form the bigger picture…..and one day it will all make perfect sense to you……. :) And will be the “big” experience that you were waiting for…..and your own connection to the Universe…. :)

So last Friday, I came across this same book by Paulo Coelho after 4 years at an obscure roadside bookshop and it brought the whole episode back to me and I finally picked it up. … There are several quotes in there which are good….. maybe I will read them out to Samar soon…he loves all my books already… :) and thinks that all these writers are my teachers... ;)

 

Loving Yourself......

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection” - Buddha

Although it appears that most of us in today’s world are self centered….. We are actually not. We are not as selfish as we think we are and are made out to be. And how do we know this? Because most of us do not pay any attention to our own core needs..our soul needs. Most of us actually believe that loving oneself is the epitome of being selfish. Imagine a friend saying…. You know what, I’m going to love myself from now on. And you would think in your mind that this person surely has some serious issues going on or maybe just a passing phase of low self-esteem! I mean..what kind of person would say.. I’m going to love myself?! Right? J

And why do we believe this? Because our definition of loving ourselves is very limited. To me.. truly loving yourself doesn’t mean…..going on a shopping spree, fighting for the remote to watch your favourite channel, making your own favourite dinner rather than someone else’s in the family, etc. Nothing wrong with all this but soon we would realise that these are very shallow and limited ways of loving yourself and that’s why they don’t seem worth it after a point and we don’t bother about them. Fighting for petty things fails to empower us. Unless we get to the core of ourselves.. we remain unfulfilled.

But loving yourself, to me means digging much more deeper. Firstly it is accepting that you are a soul on your own journey… yes, totally interconnected with others.. yet having its own path. Being more gentle with yourself. Taking time out and listening to the little voice inside you. How does it like to express itself? How does it like spending the days of its lives? What kind of people does it like to be around? Acknowledging that your soul has its needs and desires. Whatever the answers are, its important to acknowledge them…. how we choose to react to these things and act on them in a balanced manner is another thing. We are already feeling a bit selfish aren’t we? But soon we realise that unless we are genuinely happy we can’t make anyone happy around us. If we don’t have love for us we can’t offer it to anyone else. And the more we ignore ourselves, the more blockages we create inside us leading to the state of “dis-ease”. We all know this.. but somehow it all goes under the carpet in everyday life and we spend obscene amount of time cribbing about everything else…everyone else. How happy would the world be..if we were focused on improving our own selves.. our soul needs..our own self esteem would automatically increase and we would experience true happiness and share that with everyone around.. simply by our loving presence...

"A loving person lives in a loving world, A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror" - Ken Keyes

They say a true and genuine creative artist in whichever arena, can never find fault in any other’s creative work as he realises that everything is subjective and a unique expression of that particular soul. Thus if we truly focus on working on ourselves.. we will realise that everyone else is work in progress too and feel more love and compassion for them.

And to me, it begins with honouring your own uniqueness. I remember being asked once…. What was it that I was passionate about? And I remember thinking..Is it cooking? baking? Is it reading books on personal and spiritual growth? Is it music? Is it spending time with my loved ones? Is it learning new things? Pursuing genuine happiness? Swimming? I couldn’t pick one..I loved all of it!! (by the way writing was nowhere in the radar then!!) What was it then? And then something inside me answered “Life”. I am passionate about Life…and everything that it has to offer. And I remember beaming with the answer and feeling so liberated after saying that. The opposite person suddenly ceased to exist.. It didn’t matter to me what they thought of it. It was my truth and it gave me self-power. It is a unique answer..but that’s how my soul expresses itself. And I realised that the first step in loving yourself starts with acknowledging and honouring that small little voice which is truly wise and keeps guiding us towards true and lasting happiness….

Do yourself a favour today and start truly loving yourself…..you will know the difference between pursuit of vanity and pursuit of fulfilment.. between being selfish and honouring your true self...between being self-absorbed, narcissistic and being your own true friend deserving your own unconditional love...

 

 

 

A True Lesson of Eternity in Today’s Age of Instant Gratification….

“The timeless in you is aware of life’s timelessness ; and knows that yesterday is but today’s memory and tomorrow is today’s dream” – Kahlil Gibran

All of us on the spiritual path come across the word eternity so often. We reach a point when we become truly aware of concept that we are immortal souls… not immortal bodies. We intellectually understand the concept that we don’t have a soul…we are a soul and we have a body. But how ingrained is that concept in us.... how well do we accept or even have the patience to understand this obviously most important concept of eternity. How well can we take this lesson? Somewhere on the journey at some point the universe is kind enough and shows you the way.. your answers..your final goal…many people call it differently.. Nirvana, Moksha, Re-uniting with the Source, Being one with God, etc….whatever you may choose to call it …probably exactly what you were looking for but didn’t understand it before. And as per the laws of the universe also it seems knowledge is not given without a test. But how do we react to it…..Why do we struggle with it so much?

 Universe : OK.. Here’s your yummy lollipop...You've been looking for it forever haven't you?  And its not just yours..but its always been yours for eternity..and will always be.. You seek it and It seeks you…And heaven awaits you and blah blah blah…

You : What?? Really?? Sounds truly unbelievable!! Isn’t it too good to be true? But feels right to me...…Ok then… I want it now!! And I want it in this particular way only!

Universe : Excuse Me!! Now?? What is Now?!! You have to do this and that and get yourself sorted first and be compassionate and kind and help humanity and be loving and understanding.. But all this should be easy for you and should come naturally to you anyways if you have truly reached a certain stage…Remember I express all my desires through you.. Your desires are not just yours. They are part of my plan!! :)

You : What??? All that is fine. But it seems like a cruel joke!!

 Universe : Looks like you didn’t absorb the concept of eternity very well…You are just getting narrowly stuck with one chapter of life. You’re not going anywhere without this lesson properly!! You asked for the real thing.. didn't you? Can you not handle it now? How much more grief and shocks do you need just to let go of your silly conditioned concepts!!

You: Hmmm!! I shall go and meditate on that!! :)

Telling you.. This whole spirituality thing can be quite hilarious at times if seen in a lighter vein and the joke it seems is on you!!  :)

Reminds me of a quote which always makes me smile by Douglas Adams from the Restaurant at the End of Universe  “The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”  

That’s exactly how our reaction to this lesson is… usually in frustration and we self-contract and recoil and go in denial. Why? Just because there is no instant fulfilment and ownership the way we are conditioned to believe in today’s world. But the sooner we accept this lesson and move on beyond it we realise there’s still so much more work to be done and only then can we move to further heights..

I believe most of us use the word eternity and being an eternal being very easily and casually.. but when we have to actually live out this concept consciously... we really start throwing in the towel and start losing patience. I personally find myself grappling with this concept. Our minds are so conditioned to a certain way of thinking that anything outside the box seems difficult to digest. But I realise that I have to get over this or I am not getting anywhere....Spirituality and eternity go hand in hand. I absolutely cannot move ahead if I cannot embrace and soak in this concept fully. I cannot get stuck in what just appears in the "right now".....chapters were different before and they will be different later too....

Most of us on the spiritual path have an idea on how the book of our life will supposedly end but whether that ending will be in this chapter or the next or after 100 more.. will really be the test of patience. And if we truly believe that our being is eternal and like a book and our various lifetimes as only chapters of this fascinating book…accepting these lessons become much more easier. Space can be made for more positive energy and to move beyond it. Atleast you can now slowly recognise the main protagonists from the rest. And that itself is a remarkable achievement…  very few have been able to achieve this itself…that is being truly successful with a whole new meaning.. something one should be truly truly thankful and happy about…After all what is happiness… “Happiness is the settling of soul in its most appropriate spot”….as said by Aristotle….

My World of Superheroes! A Potent Mix of Science and Spirituality!

Being a mother of a 4 year old boy comes with its own peripherals. Just as my son's world is surrounded by various Superheroes... So is mine! Every birthday party (including my own son's) has to have a theme of either Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man, Hancock, Avengers, X-Men, even Chhota Bheem and sometimes a mix of all of them. When I go to buy a water bottle, lunchbox, pencil box or anything I have to be aware of the picture of the superhero on it and his current ranking on my son's list of favourites. You just cannot avoid their presence in our lives. And maybe it is for a good reason.

 

Like they say your outer world is a mirror of your inner world. As a mother either I can get annoyed with all this and get into heated discussions of how this is inculcating violence in young minds or I can try and proactively use these same Superheroes to inculcate the right values that I want in my child. And as I understand that is my role and I can't run away from it and blame the society. But for that I have to first clear my thoughts and love the Superheroes for what they stand for. And when one actually does that you realize what a powerful tool you have in your hand. 

 

To me, a Superhero movie or a story is a heady and a potent mix of science and spirituality. An adventure filled with pain and loss of loved ones (most of them incidentally are actually orphans), the inner turmoils of a person, the depiction of love more powerful than any romantic flick, the making of choices between how the world sees you and what you really are, accepting the burden that comes with the truth, accepting and discovering your own unique superpowers, living with the responsibility that comes with it, using superpowers for the betterment of humanity, trusting your inner voice and the loneliness that comes with it, sometimes losing some battles to emerge even stronger later,  living without ego...Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Bruce Wayne.....none of them feel the need to impress on the world that they are the actual Superheroes. Hulk actually teaches you what anger can do to a person. My son won't listen to me even if I keep harping on this point but the minute I speak about what anger does to Hulk.. he immediately gets it! So fascinating to note what makes a lovable Anakin Skywalker turn to Darth Vader! If you choose to see these stories for what they are...a great number of powerful lessons are stored in here. It doesn't get more spiritual than this.

The eternal debate between free will and determinism is faced by almost all of them.. Just like us. Some have or get the powers unwillingly beyond their control and actually struggle with it first. Its only their free will which decides whether they rise to the occasion, do what is required of them, use it for the higher good of everyone around and in turn fulfil their own destiny. Most of them are even in touch with their shadow self, a dark side which all of us have and sometimes it appears that they are actually on the verge of falling but it is strength of character, clarity of thoughts and their ability to learn their lessons without ego is what usually gets them back on track.

 

Sometimes it is really funny to see these little kids at 7:30 in the morning, waiting for their school bus and debating about which superhero they are on that particular day and who has better powers. And this gets you thinking and gives a wonderful chance to bring out how each of them is unique and gifted on their own. You become a superhero only if you recognise and accept your own superpower and use it to your advantage. Yes, a Spiderman cannot fly like Superman but he surely can make webs and fly away. Batman infact, has no superpowers!! But he has the resources which he uses to create the tools that he needs to fight the evil. Iron Man has a piece of shrapnel in his chest but he uses his knowledge and intelligence to create an iron suit and becomes the Iron Man. Superman is actually an alien but he doesn't sit and cry about it. Daredevil is actually blind so he uses his other senses to get his job done. Don't we all need to know and accept this in ourselves too? Only if we recognise our strengths and gifts and work on them and develop them rather than cry about our weaknesses will we live a happy and fulfilled life. And who is to say what a weakness is? A weakness in one situation can be a strength in another.

 

My only bone of contention is the absence of a real Woman Superhero.. who herself deals with the pain of loss, faces the same inner turmoils, has the same commitments, has her own reputation at stake, has her own burden and loneliness of knowing the truth and possesses her own unique superpowers! And moreover because of being in touch with her feminine nature is not afraid to trust or reach out! Now that's a story waiting to be told!
Yes.. there is Elektra but she definitely is not in the same league.

 

But on an end note my personal favourite is "The Amazing Spiderman" who seems the most real to me who carries his cell phone around in his bagpack and even picks it awkwardly in the underground sewers when it rings. But the best part about him is that he has a mind of his own.. he chooses to trust Gwen with the truth ...and chooses in the end to break a silly promise made to her dying father which never should have been made in the first place ..Now that's refreshing!!

Also this one features one of my son's and my favourite song - "Till Kingdom Comes" by Coldplay. My son calls this "the drummer song" and this was one of the first songs that I had caught him humming on his own...much to my amusement. :)

 

Return to Innocence

The more I think about it..it feels like a journey back to innocence. And it helps that currently I am surrounded by so much innocence...so many 4 year olds...teaching me all these wonderful lessons. I feel so fortunate when I see the timing of it all and the fact that I am now open and conscious about learning them too. Its so easy to get lost in their world and so satisfying that you are able to give them that time and attention. And because of my little one I have made so many wonderful friends of my own who are like an extended family. Our daily lives are so entwined with each others' ...thanks to these little ones. These little ones are truly little pieces of God(sometimes even devils!) and you pray that they remain the same. But in your heart you know whats coming....

I fear the day they will stop thinking that they are perfect and unique by themselves. Today, they have no doubt that they are indeed truly lovable. Today, they all are living in a protected wonderland where everything is fair and fun. They laugh out loud, sing and dance like there is no tomorrow. They listen to all the wonderful stories with so much attention. They all believe they are superheroes (and really how true that is!!) And when they play...they just play. They are not conscious of any social structures and they truly believe that they are beneath no one. But one day they will grow up.

And that's a great thing but for most of us growing up means closing off our true selves. We become transactional, judgemental and worse start doubting ourselves and our capabilities. We become anxious and insecure about every small thing in life. Relationships start getting more and more complex and one realises the dynamic nature of human interactions. There is a phase when you stop believing in fairy tales, the term soulmate feels like the most crappy term anyone has ever invented, the feeling of deja vu...I mean who ever believes that!! It surely is for really naïve people. You won't pay attention even if you felt a punch in your solar plexus. (What the hell is that anyways? Never had time to read about that!!) You stop believing in such stupid stuff...Signs! Yeah its a great movie.... but what does it have to do with "real" life?....You think you are totally on your own and you get busy making your own life! Getting your own big rocks in place...you don't want to look at somebody else's perfect life and pine for it. And intuitions and feelings can take a hike.. they really didn't help much in any of the exams, or group discussions or interviews or any of the Monday morning meetings. In fact, one  mistake and you can get nicely publicly pulled up and snubbed by your same so called well wishers or whatever term you may choose to call them. So obviously you are on a guard.. totally armed and closed walled. Its just you and your mind on an alert... all the time....

You always knew in your heart since the start that you wanted to volunteer, maybe give time to some NGO, contribute towards some social cause and do more fulfilling and satisfying work.. you knew your heart craves to do something more meaningful....But you know what? That can wait.... I need to pay my EMIs right now...help my own child get a great future....others can wait... I am not responsible nor connected to them...Will think about it when I have some free time and lots of money....Yes, its much easier to be a nice and wonderful person when you have lots of money. Surely, those who have totally deserve it! But you know what? I also need to earn mine!! So goes the inner dialogue for most of us ..just on and on.. and life continues...on and on...on the same track...for several years. Until you rudely get snapped out of it and receive your wake up call!! Because your soul had other plans!!

And this is the first time you will be at war within yourself! You realise you have so many parts.. your soul, your heart, your brain, your physical mind, your subconscious mind, your solar plexus, your other energy chakras, your aura, your higher self, your inner self!! Wait there's more.. the real biggie.. your ego! And each with their own plan.. Its like a whole walking battalion. No wonder they say. You are never alone!! :) Tomorrow morning when you wake up please say hello to all of them!! All of You!! I mean what the heck!! Nobody ever wrote about this in any biology book!!

Then you get real mad at your own soul plan because you wonder why did it have to be so hard? You were anyways doing the right thing..trying to lead a simple life...anyways being grateful for and satisfied with whatever you have. Why did it have to wake you up so rudely? And then begins your first lesson to learn to live with Paradoxes! And slowly when you start listening to your inner self.. let go of past hurts.... aligning yourself with your soul... then begins your wonderful conscious journey. Its almost like the universe just wanted you to return to innocence.... Do what you always really wanted to do...Just Be Yourself.. Believe in Love (Starting with yourself!!).. Believe in Signs.. Believe in Synchronicity.. Believe in Yourself.. Knowing that the Universe supports you.. Knowing that you are a Pure Being.. Knowing that you never really die.... Knowing that your loved ones are always with you.... Having faith and believing once again in the goodness of humanity and seeing the connectedness between everyone. And above all, testing you on how much do you really trust yourself?

And funnily, a 4 year old instinctively already knows and lives out most of these things. And the more all of us grown ups start living out these simple truths, the more effortless our journey will be  in peace and innocence...and hopefully not be rudely awakened. Then again, I don't know how much of that part can we truly control but atleast we can make a conscious start towards it....

And as I see my 4 year old, I silently pray for all our children that they do not lose their true joyful self as they grow up... are able to live out to their fullest potential, develop and share their gifts and fulfill their purpose in this life and above all, experience true, eternal and unconditional love.

My friends say that I look much more happy, serene, peaceful and glowing these days!! Now which part of me should I thank  for it??  Gosh! It is a big list, isn't it?? :)

 

Finally... Letting It Go!!

A birth, two deaths and a journey. If someone had told this to me about 4 to 5 years back that all this was in store for me just down the road.... I would have probably asked that person to just scoot off.  It's been 4 years today since the day of the accident and I finally feel light...I have finally let go.. And how do I truly know that? I actually lost track of the dates. :) Till last year on this day the entire ordeal would just keep playing in my mind over and over again. But today I simply just forgot. I even thought about my mother like I do everyday but didn't realize about the day till my sister called me in the afternoon. And guess what!! we actually laughed about it. Because both of us realised that we really don't need to hold on to any particular day to feel love for our mother.. she is a part of us every single day....and by letting go...and by realising this profound truth we felt even closer to her..in a very very happy way... :)

 

Infact, after a really long time I had inadvertently made plans to go out today of all the days with a very dear childhood friend of mine who was in town. So we roamed the whole evening, went around our old college remembering silly times, taking pictures  and sitting and chabbering on our famous Podar katta.  And guess what? I didn't even feel guilty at all. I couldn't stop saying whole evening ....that I felt so happy.. so happy that I have finally let her go.....happy, that just knowing this she would be happy too.....:) I had such a great evening of all the days.. today!!

 

Sometimes we just keep holding on to grief because unfortunately that's the only thing that's left with us. Not out of choice and not because one likes to feel like a victim but really what else have you got? No goodbyes..No nothing..Just Boom..Gone..Forever! And at some level you actually feel guilty if you allow yourself to be happy again. Its weird but if you have lost a really close loved one and are still holding on to the grief you will know what I mean. And you think that if you let that grief go....you won't feel them anymore. But you know what? Infact, the opposite happens... If you keep holding on..you are just blocking yourself to feeling anything. But the minute you let go..truly magic happens.. you begin to feel your loved ones in ways that you couldn't imagine before. I feel the love of my parents all the time now. When I swim... I know my father is smiling at me and I can't help smiling too. When I am just happy, I know that my mother would be happy too.... That was what their whole life was about....just to see their daughters happy.... so we better damn be happy!! :)

 

Sometimes changing our relationship with certain conditioned concepts helps a lot. Opening your heart and mind helps. We simply accept certain notions of death and life without ever questioning them or without ever having done our own persistent intellectual enquiry on them and reaching our own insights to them. Nowadays there is so much literature available on the Eastern and Western philosophy be it new age or ancient texts that its not that difficult to do your own research if you truly desire to. You may not get all your answers but atleast your mind broadens to the fact of alternate realities and suddenly death doesn't seem so scary at all. It doesn't feel like a permanent end to things. To me, its worth finding out the answers for yourself and then choosing your own belief systems consciously.

Here is a wonderful story that I came across worth sharing that will make the hardest skeptics think for a moment.. Here goes...

In a mother's womb were two babies. One asked the other: "Do you believe in life after delivery?" The other replies, "why, of course. There has to be something after delivery. Maybe we are here to prepare ourselves for what we will be later. "Nonsense," says the other. "There is no life after delivery. What would that life be?" "I don't know, but there will be more light than here. Maybe we will walk with our legs and eat from our mouths." The other says "This is absurd! Walking is impossible. And eat with our mouths? Ridiculous. The umbilical cord supplies nutrition. Life after delivery is to be excluded. The umbilical cord is too short." "I think there is something and maybe it's different than it is here." the other replies, "No one has ever come back from there. Delivery is the end of life, and in the after-delivery it is nothing but darkness and anxiety and it takes us nowhere." "Well, I don't know," says the other, "but certainly we will see mother and she will take care of us." "Mother??" You believe in mother? Where is she now? "She is all around us. It is in her that we live. Without her there would not be this world." "I don't see her, so it's only logical that she doesn't exist." To which the other replied, "sometimes when you're in silence you can hear her, you can perceive her." I believe there is a reality after delivery and we are here to prepare ourselves for that reality....

 

No one can deny the pain that comes with the physical loss of the person and only time and conscious efforts can heal some wounds. And above all, good old Love and Faith can have profound healing effects. And among many other lessons that I am learning each day, today I realised and experienced the power of letting go in a true sense... And I am so eternally thankful to both my parents who probably knew this at a soul level and gave me the biggest gift any parent can give their child...that of setting me off on a journey to find my true self. I love them always and forever...and I don't need to hold on to any particular day to prove that!

 

 

 

Longing to be in Nature...

Having been born and brought up in Mumbai, I have spent most of my life living in this city, other than a few years here and there. I have a life full of memories of this city and I guess that’s how I see this place…through the eyes of memories…..  And the funny thing is that not only am I born here but my mother, my father and all my relatives are born and brought up in Mumbai. Infact my paternal grandmother was born in Chembur which used to be a village long time back… I guess you get the picture…I won’t get into the whole family tree now. :) So while growing up whenever someone asked me.. “Where are you from?”…Firstly, I never understood that question and Secondly, I replied matter of factly that I am from Mumbai. Most of the time these people would not understand my answer and further try to dig in but which village, etc and probably end up thinking that my parents are too busy working to tell me anything about my roots..:)

Everyone I knew had some village or native place where they came from even though they lived in Mumbai and would have fascinating summer stories to narrate of that place and the people there. Having big spacious old style houses and lots of mango trees, banana trees, jackfruit trees, etc. The best stories were of the people who came from Goa. I thought they were the luckiest people alive.. living by the sea…eating fish and rice daily…and living the whole Goan lifestyle.

So I always grew up craving the village life. And I was very thrilled when we got an opportunity to get this lovely place in Western Maharashtra amongst nature. Not for the glamour quotient of having a weekend home but just to satisfy the craving to live the simple holistic quiet life amongst nature which I felt deprived of. To me it signified a place where I could live with the rhythm of nature and where I could plant my own trees ..lemon trees, chickoo trees, guava trees and plants with various flowers. I also have dreams of planting my own kitchen garden there soon. I have had my emotional ups and downs with this place but now I have taken to it like a duck to water. And there is deliberately no television, no wall clock, no internet here so to balance it out we carry loads of books and music and coffee …with lots of delicate golden string lights. I used to worry how my superactive 4 year old will take to the relatively slow pace out here but surprisingly he too loves this place. He loves our nature walks to the temple. He loves checking on the plants everytime we come back here. I believe this change is good for his soul too. Here is where he is more open to listening to the stories of Buddha and Krishna and many such more with full attention and not just Superman and Spiderman!

And everytime I come here I myself learn new lessons from nature. Its as if Mother nature embraces you and renews you to keep you going and coming back for more. Something that bothers you back home just disappears…doesn’t seem important anymore. Endless things accumulated .. just don’t seem necessary. You realize that you actually need such few basic things in life to be happy. The outside noise just vanishes. 

You interact with the locals and see the simple lives that they lead. They share their joyful stories with you freely and your small conditioned mind can’t stop wondering what could be their intention. Its hard to believe that someone can share with you something without any intention….without knowing anything about you really. I can’t believe that I was scared of these same people once. I was not raised to fear anything so I can’t believe that I could reach such dark depths. I didn’t even know I had that place within me. For some reason my soul had chosen to experience that too.

Out here, you look at the sun, the moon, the plants, the mountains, the clouds, the fireflies, even the cows and feel a part of it all.  It gives you a sense of serenity. Sometimes in the mornings you can see the sun and the moon in the sky at the same time if the skies are clear. A bit rare but it does happen. Try sitting under a quiet night sky full of stars and you can’t help feeling grateful for everything that life has to offer you…..whatever is near……whatever is far. Even getting a glimpse of your angel is enough to last a lifetime. When a flower falls down you count if its petals are in a certain sequence with a sense of wonder. You start wondering about the migratory patterns of the birds. How do they communicate with each other? And you realize there are many things that the human eyes cannot see and the human mind cannot comprehend but they still do exist in a perfect design of their own. We have conveniently called ourselves sentient beings and decided by ourselves by conducting experiments on our own parameters that other species cannot self reflect but maybe they can… in their own way….by their own parameters.. Who knows?

Then you begin to look at your life and see how well designed and perfect it all is. Without even knowing or consciously choosing anything you were already slowly heading in a certain direction. You were persistently receiving signs from the beginning towards your path....its just that your small mind kept dismissing every single thing as wishful thinking. But its amazing how the universe just keeps at it. Accepting that with humility and grace stops making one anxious about everything. Your ego may not like this. It doesn’t like to feel so vulnerable and open and will want to do its own thing. But I guess..that's the lesson out here.   Its humbling to note how each and every person in your life is so perfectly placed with so many synchronicities….. makes you feel connected with everything and everyone. You start seeing where you fit in the greater scheme of things. This feeling of connectedness which nature offers you, the quietness that it offers you to reflect on things and reach your own insights is invaluable. It reassures you to just keep calm, be on your path ..that's all that matters…..everything else is temporary…all your anxieties will vanish away. This experience of the loving energy of mother nature and all the wonderful things it has to offer truly works wonders. I can see what this place means to me now….I am going to keep needing to come back here to get a renewed perspective of things when they get a bit painful.

Nature....Books…Music…What more does a person need? Ummm…….Let me think..  :)