This blog is about me contemplating and trying to make sense of this fascinating journey called life and penning down various life lessons that I learn along the way.....
So make yourself a nice cup of coffee..pull a chair and sit back and enjoy the little ponderings that I share with you...


Monday, October 28, 2013

Return to Innocence




The more I think about it..it feels like a journey back to innocence. And it helps that currently I am surrounded by so much innocence...so many 4 year olds...teaching me all these wonderful lessons. I feel so fortunate when I see the timing of it all and the fact that I am now open and conscious about learning them too. Its so easy to get lost in their world and so satisfying that you are able to give them that time and attention. And because of my little one I have made so many wonderful friends of my own who are like an extended family. Our daily lives are so entwined with each others' ...thanks to these little ones. These little ones are truly little pieces of God(sometimes even devils!) and you pray that they remain the same. But in your heart you know whats coming....

I fear the day they will stop thinking that they are perfect and unique by themselves. Today, they have no doubt that they are indeed truly lovable. Today, they all are living in a protected wonderland where everything is fair and fun. They laugh out loud, sing and dance like there is no tomorrow. They listen to all the wonderful stories with so much attention. They all believe they are superheroes (and really how true that is!!) And when they play...they just play. They are not conscious of any social structures and they truly believe that they are beneath no one. But one day they will grow up.

And that's a great thing but for most of us growing up means closing off our true selves. We become transactional, judgemental and worse start doubting ourselves and our capabilities. We become anxious and insecure about every small thing in life. Relationships start getting more and more complex and one realises the dynamic nature of human interactions. There is a phase when you stop believing in fairy tales, the term soulmate feels like the most crappy term anyone has ever invented, the feeling of deja vu...I mean who ever believes that!! It surely is for really na├»ve people. You won't pay attention even if you felt a punch in your solar plexus. (What the hell is that anyways? Never had time to read about that!!) You stop believing in such stupid stuff...Signs! Yeah its a great movie.... but what does it have to do with "real" life?....You think you are totally on your own and you get busy making your own life! Getting your own big rocks in place...you don't want to look at somebody else's perfect life and pine for it. And intuitions and feelings can take a hike.. they really didn't help much in any of the exams, or group discussions or interviews or any of the Monday morning meetings. In fact, one  mistake and you can get nicely publicly pulled up and snubbed by your same so called well wishers or whatever term you may choose to call them. So obviously you are on a guard.. totally armed and closed walled. Its just you and your mind on an alert... all the time....

You always knew in your heart since the start that you wanted to volunteer, maybe give time to some NGO, contribute towards some social cause and do more fulfilling and satisfying work.. you knew your heart craves to do something more meaningful....But you know what? That can wait.... I need to pay my EMIs right now...help my own child get a great future....others can wait... I am not responsible nor connected to them...Will think about it when I have some free time and lots of money....Yes, its much easier to be a nice and wonderful person when you have lots of money. Surely, those who have totally deserve it! But you know what? I also need to earn mine!! So goes the inner dialogue for most of us ..just on and on.. and life continues...on and on...on the same track...for several years. Until you rudely get snapped out of it and receive your wake up call!! Because your soul had other plans!!

And this is the first time you will be at war within yourself! You realise you have so many parts.. your soul, your heart, your brain, your physical mind, your subconscious mind, your solar plexus, your other energy chakras, your aura, your higher self, your inner self!! Wait there's more.. the real biggie.. your ego! And each with their own plan.. Its like a whole walking battalion. No wonder they say. You are never alone!! :) Tomorrow morning when you wake up please say hello to all of them!! All of You!! I mean what the heck!! Nobody ever wrote about this in any biology book!!

Then you get real mad at your own soul plan because you wonder why did it have to be so hard? You were anyways doing the right thing..trying to lead a simple life...anyways being grateful for and satisfied with whatever you have. Why did it have to wake you up so rudely? And then begins your first lesson to learn to live with Paradoxes! And slowly when you start listening to your inner self.. let go of past hurts.... aligning yourself with your soul... then begins your wonderful conscious journey. Its almost like the universe just wanted you to return to innocence.... Do what you always really wanted to do...Just Be Yourself.. Believe in Love (Starting with yourself!!).. Believe in Signs.. Believe in Synchronicity.. Believe in Yourself.. Knowing that the Universe supports you.. Knowing that you are a Pure Being.. Knowing that you never really die.... Knowing that your loved ones are always with you.... Having faith and believing once again in the goodness of humanity and seeing the connectedness between everyone. And above all, testing you on how much do you really trust yourself?

And funnily, a 4 year old instinctively already knows and lives out most of these things. And the more all of us grown ups start living out these simple truths, the more effortless our journey will be  in peace and innocence...and hopefully not be rudely awakened. Then again, I don't know how much of that part can we truly control but atleast we can make a conscious start towards it....

And as I see my 4 year old, I silently pray for all our children that they do not lose their true joyful self as they grow up... are able to live out to their fullest potential, develop and share their gifts and fulfill their purpose in this life and above all, experience true, eternal and unconditional love.

My friends say that I look much more happy, serene, peaceful and glowing these days!! Now which part of me should I thank  for it??  Gosh! It is a big list, isn't it?? :)